Book Review- Reclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage

Author: Rachel Reed
Publisher: Word Witch, 2021
Reviewers: Joanne Simpson and Tamsin Kreymborg

This is a great book on supporting natural childbirth physiology, and the Herstory of childbirth and midwifery. Rachel Reed gives a wide history about how birthing has changed over the centuries, with the role that midwives have today versus centuries ago and the changes that “advances” in medicine have had on births. One of the key messages is about trusting mothers’ innate wisdom and natural mothering, and women supporting women. While it promotes physiological birth as the best way to support the physical, hormonal and emotional changes that happen during birth, it also makes sure to point out ways in which physiology can be supported even when a natural birth is out of the equation. 

In her book, Rachel Reed takes you through the stages of labour and how a woman can be more connected to the physiology of birth. She explains the benefits of mother-baby bonding straight after birth and how this helps with hormone release for breastfeeding to start. She also discusses how caregivers and family can offer rites of protection to help each stage of labour. Reclaiming Childbirth reinforces the La Leche League philosophy:  “Alert, active participation by the mother in childbirth is a help in getting breastfeeding off to a good start.”

The book is easy to read, with a mixture of short personal stories to illustrate the points. The reference section includes a mixture of books, scientific journals, WHO references and the author’s previous works. It is helpful for expecting mothers, midwives, doulas, obstetricians and other birth workers. The content is fabulous in preparing to have an active role in a birth and for a mother to start trusting her instincts in labour, although there isn’t any in-depth follow-on about breastfeeding.

One of the reviewers found it a particularly enjoyable read during her pregnancy: “It has opened my eyes to more possibilities during birth and to claim it as my own experience that I can control. I found the history (or herstory as Rachel Reed refers to it) of childbirth fascinating and slightly saddening that women have had some of the rites of passage into motherhood removed from them over the centuries, but also how we can ensure that no matter what setting or choices that the mother makes, this rite of passage can still be honoured.”

This book is recommended for group libraries.

Compiled by Katie Fourie, BRC 2021.

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Book Review- Safe Infant Sleep: Expert Answers to Your Co-sleeping Questions

Author: James J McKenna
Publisher: Platypus Media, USA, 2020
Reviewers: Sarah Hudson & Katie Fourie

Sharing a sleep surface with your baby is, and has been, the biologically normal way for babies to sleep. In this book, Dr James McKenna introduces the term ‘breastsleeping’ and puts together decades of research on parent-infant sleep. With a background in biological anthropology Dr McKenna explains the biological basis for human infants to need to be in constant physical proximity with a carer and how this conflicts with the values of Westernised societies which has historically promoted independence at all costs. He shares his observations of the impact of cultural ideology on public health messaging and highlights the issues around the interpretation of the research. While acknowledging that “no sleeping arrangement guarantees full protection” McKenna reassures new parents that elective bedsharing (as opposed to unplanned or ‘chaotic’ as he puts it) is the safest form of bedsharing. McKenna also notes that regardless of how an infant is fed, whether breastfed, mixed fed or formula fed, parents and infants benefit emotionally, physically, and psychologically from remaining in close proximity throughout the day and night.

The book is broken into short chapters some of which, e.g. when explaining very specific research technicalities, can be a little heavy going at times. It is written in a conversational tone with his own experience of navigating this area as a parent trying to reconcile his academic knowledge, his intuition as a parent, and the conflicting messages he received from health professionals along the way. He includes a series of schematics and diagrams that make seemingly abstract concepts easy to understand. The book is well-referenced and there is a section full of resources and further reading for those who are interested in learning more. There is also an appendix of anti-bedsharing campaign posters which were absolutely heart-breaking to look at.

Safe Infant Sleep is a must read for all parents and anyone working with families with young children. It contains essential information that will help to counter the multitude of sleep books that lead new parents to doubt their intuition. It aligns well with the La Leche League philosophies and indeed, provides a scientific basis for parental behaviour promoting breastfeeding and loving parenting during the night as well as the day. We highly recommend this book for group libraries.

Compiled by Katie Fourie, BRC 2021.

Continue ReadingBook Review- Safe Infant Sleep: Expert Answers to Your Co-sleeping Questions

Nau mai, Haere mai, Welcome to our new look Aroha Blog!

Aroha has been a successful member only publication for 24 years. It has moved through the times as a printed, and then digital magazine, always adapting to our readers needs. The content of the magazine has resonated with members and built a community of readers who have relished in sharing in others breastfeeding and parenting journeys.  

We have decided to move to a more accessible format for everyone to benefit from the amazing content! Our Aroha blog will cover a range of topics including pregnancy, parenting teens and everything in between, such as birth, breastfeeding and gentle parenting. Aroha is such a unique publication as it is written for New Zealand Breastfeeding families, which makes it relevant and relatable.

Parenting can sometimes feel hard and lonely; Aroha has provided a village and like-minded community to many families over the years, and we would love to extend the village to you.

We will have regular posts with all different contributions such as editorials, birth stories, La Leche League news, new breastfeeding and parenting research as well as book reviews.  If you have something to contribute we would love to hear from you! You can reach as at aroha@lalecheleague.org.nz 

We hope to see you here often, we would love for you to become part of our community and trust you find something here that you connect with on your breastfeeding journey.

Always with LLLove,

Hayley x

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What if?

  • Post category:Mothering
  • Reading time:6 mins read

“With our first baby, I had a very difficult birth and my milk just didn’t come in.  I didn’t know what to do so we started him on formula when I got home from the hospital.  I really wanted to do it differently for our next child.  I planned more when I got pregnant again – found LLL and did a lot of reading.  It wasn’t easy this time either but with persistence and a lot of support we got our girl latched on and my milk finally came in.  We’re so glad!  But now sometimes I can’t help wondering when our son is sick, is that because of the formula?  Or when my daughter seems to developing faster in some way, maybe because she got my milk…  Do other mothers have problems with “what ifs” and “if onlys” like these?”

Responses

Karen Taylor-Lewis, Te Awamutu – Yes and yes to the many “what ifs” and “if onlys” of raising children. When I discuss my thoughts with my husband, I am regularly told I think too much about things I can’t change! So I try and make sure that I don’t blame myself and instead remind myself I did the best I could, with the knowledge I had, at the time.  If possible I learn something for the future: e.g. think proactively and take care that all the food I provide my children is the best nutrition possible, especially after giving them the best start with breast milk.


Lisa Ross, Hibiscus Coast – You did the best you could with the knowledge and support and experience you had at the time. Everyone has moments of hindsight. You can’t know for sure if your son gets sick because he had formula from a young age, just as I can’t know for sure that my daughter has allergies because I gave her something other than breast milk in the early weeks. Had we known what we know now, we may have done things differently, but we didn’t. Acknowledge it as a maybe, then move forward, knowing you are doing the best with the knowledge and support you have now.


Bea Lorimer, Waiheke Island – I only have one daughter, whom I breastfed, so I don’t have the same perspective of comparing one to another, but I do sometimes question certain behaviours and traits of hers and wonder if they would be different if I’d reacted in another way.  We want our children to become the best they can, so I think it’s perfectly normal to question some things.

We need to trust that we are making the best decision we can in any given moment- and there’s more than one “right” choice. Kids are resilient, and as long as we’re giving lots of love – and making decisions with the best intentions – they will surely bounce back from any “wrong” choice we’ve made.


Claire Hargest-Slade, Timaru – The “if onlys” really get to us as mothers –  if I had more knowledge, more support, the baby’s health status had been better or different –  these are feelings of regret and grief; perfectly natural responses to an unexpected outcome in regards to feeding your first baby . Often when mothers have subsequent babies the painful feelings of perceiving they have failed or deprived their child can be triggered and resurface.

Blaming yourself or others can be an attempt to regain control of a situation that you may have felt powerless in. Remembering that you did the very best that you were able to do in the situation can be comforting. However you fed your son, your deep and loving commitment to being his mother is evident.  Instead of comparing the health of the two children, perhaps see your second experience as a positive chance to heal the hurts of the first for you. Well done on persevering through what sounds like a tricky start!


Adith Stoneman, Kelston Group, Auckland – I believe that mothers have the word guilt written all over their foreheads.  Even fathers do.  We, with the wisdom of hindsight, know that we could have done things differently or could have responded differently.  Yet it is just that: “wisdom of hindsight”.  What is most important is that we learn from it.  We can make a difference by educating other mothers about the importance of a healthy pregnancy, of the great start in life by experiencing a vaginal birth, of the importance of skin to skin contact, the truth that breastfeeding can be hard work but it is absolutely worth it.

The founding mothers of La Leche League had a variety of experiences in regards to breast and bottle feeding.  They decided to set up a support network and to pass on the lessons they had learned to other mothers. And look what an effect this has had.  Be proud to be part of LLL; be proud to be part of a group of mothers and fathers who are making a difference in our world. Guilt is not a helpful emotion.   You are a loving mother who wants the best for her children.   Be proud of the efforts you make every day to ensure the best for your children.


Kathy Deacon, Invercargill – Well done that you have managed to feed your little girl; it sounds like she is thriving on your milk.  It is sad that you were not able to breastfeed your son. You sound like you have regrets and wonder if his health could have been better. We promote breastfeeding as the best food for babies and sing its praises for optimum health, so it is only natural for you to wonder if things could have been different.

We are lucky in this country that we have good quality formula and a clean water supply. Without a constant supply of donor milk being readily available in this country at present, your baby received the best that was available.  Without the formula he could have been a very sick wee boy.  It must be frustrating to wonder why it didn’t work out the first time round, but I’m sure he received all the love and care you could give him. It is wonderful that you found good support and information to breastfeed your daughter.  You will be enriched by both experiences and will no doubt be a great source of comfort and support for other mothers.

Continue ReadingWhat if?

Two Styles of Mothering

  • Post category:Mothering
  • Reading time:5 mins read

Before my son was born I attended a ‘preparing for parenthood’ course with
my husband. It strongly advocated ‘parent controlled feeding and sleeping’ or
scheduled feeding. This sat very comfortably with my preconceived ideas
about what good mothering should be and I made the decision to feed my
baby three to four hourly from birth.
I loved my routine. Samuel settled well into it and seemed to progress as the
handbook said he should. I looked with disdain on those ‘ill advised’ women
who demand fed their infants. Couldn’t they see that if they responded to
every demand of the baby that they would inevitably create a demanding
child? It seemed common sense to me. I also didn’t approve of exclusive
breastfeeding. My decision to add two formula feeds into Sam’s diet allowed
his father to take an active role in the parenting and theoretically should have
meant that Samuel would sleep through the night at eight to ten weeks old.
Surely this was all in his best interests.
Samuel didn’t sleep through the night as we were led to believe he should. So
at eleven weeks of age we left him to cry for four hours on his own in the living
room, until he got the idea that he was not the boss. It took him three nights
and we were back on schedule. I helped him sleep more deeply by giving him
a solid night feed at twelve weeks. Of course it took Samuel no time to decide
that milk was easier to get out of a bottle than the breast and he had us fully
weaned at five months.
Four and a half years later my daughter was born. I had already decided that
as the routine had worked so well last time I was going to do the same again.
I don’t recall how it happened, Rachel was just a very content baby, and I
liked being with her so much that I seemed to feed her whenever I picked her
up. It was as if I was just saying, ‘hello, hungry?’ I found that I thoroughly
enjoyed breastfeeding her, and we seemed to bond more deeply each time
we did it. Rachel refused repeated attempts to supplement her feeding with a
bottle. In time I gave up. But I certainly never considered myself to be demand
feeding. Imagine my surprise when a friend, a La Leche League member,
pointed out that this was exactly what I was doing. I honestly had no idea. It
took a while for it to sink in. I had considered demand feeders ‘the enemy’. But
as time went by I began to see how much I had missed of my relationship with
Samuel because of my strict adherence to the routine. He is my son and I
adore him but from the moment he was born we have been at odds, with me
constantly forcing my will on him (I didn’t even let him decide when he was
hungry). And I really had lost the opportunity to have those precious innocent
months with him that I was now enjoying with his sister. I did the best that I
knew how for my darling Samuel, but it’s as if I held him at arms length and
I’m feeling the effects of that even now.
I was also upset to read research that contradicted so much of what I had
been told. I learned that breast milk supply is actually built up and maintained
by suckling and not by prolonged breaks between feeds. And that it is not
necessarily in a baby’s best interest to sleep through the night at eleven
weeks. And that babies who are exclusively breastfed are at a lower risk of
SIDS.
With Rachel, I had a great deal of pressure put on us by family and friends
who would ask, ‘Haven’t you weaned that baby yet?” But by then I didn’t care.
Rachel is a wonderful human being in her own right. Breastfeeding has added
a warmth and closeness beyond measure to our relationship. As for the
father’s participation in feeding; my husband’s support of my breastfeeding
has been invaluable. He would sit in a close embrace with the baby and me
and fully share our experience. So did Samuel. It’s been great for the whole
family. Add to that the enormous health benefits for both of us. I cannot
understand those who say that a chemist can come up with any better
nutrition than that which nature has designed.
I fed Rachel for 18 months. Now I am expecting another baby, and I have
already decided to exclusively breastfeed. As for a routine, baby and I will
work that out for ourselves and the clock, I suspect will have little say in the
matter.
To those who have never tried breastfeeding, or who are thinking about
demand feeding, I would suggest you give it a try. You really don’t know what
you are missing. And I thoroughly recommend contacting a La Leche League
Group. The caring support of like minded people, who won’t ask you, ‘Haven’t
you weaned your baby yet?’ is just wonderful.

By Jennie South, Christchurch
Originally printed in Aroha March/April 2003, Volume 5 Issue 2

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