Sudden Weaning

  • Post category:Challenges
  • Reading time:4 mins read

On July 26th this year, the day my little girl Jessica turned 11 months, she awoke with a bad cold.   She refused her morning breastfeed and later in the morning after one small nursing began refusing every time I offered her the breast. I was surprised, as up until that day, she had breastfed happily several times a day and often once or twice during the night as well.

By that night I knew something was wrong as she was unhappy and crying a lot and I suspected an ear infection.  I was expressing milk and offered her that in a cup.  She was otherwise drinking water
happily from her cup and still eating.  The next morning I took her to our doctor who confirmed an ear infection and like me was confident that she’d start breastfeeding again once her ear healed up and she wasn’t in pain. He also felt that a blocked nose wouldn’t be helping although she’d had colds before that had hadn’t affected her feeding.

A month later, in August, Jessica celebrated her first birthday and, no, she hadn’t returned to breastfeeding.  What started as a nursing strike turned out to be a sudden weaning.

For the first week I expressed milk regularly
and fed her that in a cup as well as offering
her the breast.  Every time she would pull
away and cry.  After a while she would just
look at it, then look at me as if to say, “What
exactly are you trying to do here Mum?”
I was in contact with my La Leche League
Leader right through this time and also
spoke to a lactation consultant.  Both
suggested that I calmly offer the breast to
Jessica, perhaps while she was drowsy, or
in the bath, but never to force it on her.  I
tried everything but my very independent
little girl was not to be fooled.
My feeling is that the pain of feeding with an
ear infection was the first step for her to wean
and that she just decided within herself that
she no longer wanted to breastfeed.  I
breastfed her older brother until he was ready
to wean (three and a half years) and intended
doing the same for Jessica so this sudden
change of plans, initiated totally by her, came
as a big surprise.
As the weeks have gone by I have recovered
from my initial disappointment and shock at
her weaning.  There have been a lot of
changes for us both.  My milk supply took two
to three weeks to reduce to a level whereby I
didn’t have to express at all.  Jessica stopped
waking in the night from the day she stopped
feeding (a bonus for us all).  She is not
particularly keen on drinking any milk but will
drink a little bit of goats’ milk formula in a cup
with breakfast and before bed (she’s had
reflux and doesn’t tolerate dairy very well).  She eats well and drinks lots of water during
the day.  We have had to find other ways to
be close too, including more cuddling,  carrying (I have a backpack that gets a good
workout every day), playing and reading
together.
It was quite stressful when Jessica weaned
so suddenly and there have been lots of
adjustments for us both.  There are many
people who think I’m lucky as I didn’t have to
wean her but I’m always quick to say that I
had no intention of weaning her, not in the
commonly­accepted way anyway.  I’m
learning very quickly that no two
babies/children are alike. Already mothering
my two children as been very different for
each and I expect I have so much more to
learn.

Lee­Ann Michelle, Balclutha Group
Aroha November/December 2004

Continue ReadingSudden Weaning

Fully Breastfeeding Amber after Latching-On Problems

  • Post category:Challenges
  • Reading time:8 mins read

Amber was born on New Years Eve 2001, at home, in the water under a
beautiful, full­moon sky. Everything went as planned and Amber had her first
breastfeed half an hour after birth. Amber and I bonded instantly and I knew
that I wanted to breastfeed her as it was best for her health. It’s natural and
comforting and what better way to show my baby how much I love her.
I had read breastfeeding books and talked to my midwife, Heather, about
feeding and thought that I was prepared. The first few days Amber fed quite
well and I was starting to get the hang of it, Heather had explained to me that
breastfeeding is a skill that has to be learned and that Amber and I were
teaching each other.
Around day three, things started to go wrong and I couldn’t latch Amber on
properly, so my nipples were being grazed. The next day, when Heather came
to see us she told me to make absolutely sure that Amber’s mouth was
opening wide and to make sure she was getting enough breast in her mouth.
She also said that if it hurt me, to take Amber off and try again, (and again and
again…) until it didn’t hurt and felt comfortable. I found that every time
Heather was present Amber would latch on well and we had really good
feeds, but I couldn’t get it right all the time and it was when Heather wasn’t
there that I was having real problems.
After about a week my nipples were sore and a bit damaged though no worse.
In week or two everything went down hill really fast. My nipples got badly
damaged and Amber wanted to feed all the time with only an hour or so rest in
between. When Amber latched on, it hurt so badly that I would get a very
intense pain right up my arm and into my elbow and shoulder. My toes would
curl up and tears usually followed.  My letdown was being affected because I was so tense and I could never
relax due to the pain, which then led to supply worries. I was getting very
distressed so I rang Heather again and she came to see us. She was really
surprised how in a matter of 48 hours my nipples could get so damaged. They
went from moderate damage to extreme damage almost over night, (although
it felt a lot longer than that at the time).  We decided, after much deliberation, to use nipple shields for a while to
protect my nipples from further damage and to hopefully give them a chance
to heal. Heather told me to let the shields do their job then throw them away
before I got too dependant on them, because long term use can effect supply.
The shields were lifesavers, it still hurt when the nipple got sucked through the
shield but it helped Amber and I get it right.
The next step was to get my supply back up so we got some lactogogue tea,
lots of food, snacks, water, rest and breastfeeding. It was working. We were
getting there, life was a little better and the tears were less. Amber was not
gaining as much weight as we would have liked, but we had sorted out some
major problems and were confident that great progress had been made. We
were on the way up and Amber was a happy alert baby.
Then other members of the family became concerned about Amber’s weight.
They said that she needed formula, that I should get my milk tested (because
it was not good enough), and because my sister couldn’t breastfeed maybe I
couldn’t either, and that Amber would get Cystic Fibrosis etc, etc. The last
straw was when they told us that since Amber could not speak they would
have to be her voice. This really hurt and upset us, and all the great progress
we had made recently went straight down the toilet. I started feeling really
guilty, that I wasn’t a very good mother, and that I had failed. The emotional
pressure was huge so back came the tears and a small dose of depression
just to top it all off as out came the formula.
Knowing how determined I was to breastfeed Amber, Heather expressed her
concerns about the fact, that, if I gave up now after all the hard work that I
might regret it later. I totally agreed. We started supplementing Amber with
two bottles a day. It was very hard to do. I thought that once I started that
would be it and the formula would take over. I was determined not to let this
happen. Heather told me to make sure to express when Amber had formula
and feed this to her as well to get some good weight gains.  Family pressure
was still major, so it was suggested that we go to see a paediatrician to get
Amber checked. Heather and I knew Amber was fine but we agreed a
checkup might help put all our minds at rest.
I was dreading going to the paediatrician and thought he was going to tell me
to give up breastfeeding altogether, (actually it was quite the contrary). I
explained everything to him and then he checked Amber. He said she was
fine and gave me a few things to look out for. He was very pro breastfeeding
and told me to keep doing as I was and to drop the formula when I was
comfortable. He told me to feed Amber on demand, which was what I was
doing anyway. He also said to try not to listen to what other people think is
right for Amber and he was more than happy to talk to family about their
concerns. I felt like a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders and, more
so, my mind.
Life was still pretty hard and there was so much pressure and stress in getting
my nipples healed, supply up and feeding going properly. Michelle, my
student midwife, suggested La Leche League and got Debbie’s number for
me. I rang Debbie and explained everything to her and she gave lots of help,
information, encouragement and support. Debbie suggested switch nursing
for a couple of days to help give my supply a real boost. It really worked and
Amber was doing better with lots more dirty nappies. My nipples were now
healed and it was time to get rid of the shields. It was scary but I knew it was
time. I started feeding every second feed without the shield, as my nipples
were still a little sore. After a few days I became more confident and gave the
shields back to Heather. It was a great day. My milk supply then picked right
up and can you believe it I was even leaking!
Heather visited an extra week to make sure our girl was still having weight
gains, lots of wet and dirty nappies and to make sure I was a happy mum. The
last visit was sad because Heather had become my friend and her support
was just amazing. Her last written words in our birth story were:
“Your strength and determination to do what you believe is right for Amber is
amazing, you have a beautiful, healthy daughter, enjoy every moment of what
you have worked so hard to achieve. Arohanui, Heather.”
At 11 weeks out went the formula and Amber was a happy, healthy, fully
breastfed baby. We had made it. It was the most rewarding goal I had ever
achieved and I am so proud that I stuck to my beliefs. I went to my first La
Leche League Meeting when Amber was four months old and couldn’t believe
the amount of support I got from other mothers and a great bunch of Leaders.
I have made some new friends and I am enjoying going to meetings and
hopefully helping someone else feel supported.
Sometimes I feel sad when I think about the first few weeks but actually
writing my story has helped a lot and made me feel proud that I didn’t give up.
I want to say a huge thanks to: Heather for all her help, love, support,
friendship, extra visits and phone calls; Debbie for all her help over the past
two years and for introducing me to LLL; and my husband who stood right by
my side every step of the way. Thank you so much.
I have learnt a great deal over the past two years and now have the
knowledge to look forward to breastfeeding again early in 2004. I now know
where to go for support. I can only remind myself that the negative things
have turned positive through being introduced to LLL.

Leanne Kennedy, Cambridge
Aroha September/October 2004

Continue ReadingFully Breastfeeding Amber after Latching-On Problems

Coping with a Prem Baby

  • Post category:Challenges
  • Reading time:6 mins read

I would like to share my experience so that it may help anyone out there who has been told that you cannot breastfeed a premature baby.

I had six weeks to go and I was enjoying myself at a Warrior’s game at Ericsson Stadium. Half way through the game the pain in my back started. My thoughts were that the baby must be sitting in a funny position, causing me discomfort and I tried to ignore it. At 11pm the same night I thought maybe there was more to it and rang my backup midwife as my midwife was on holiday at the time. The next morning I met the midwife in hospital and yes, unfortunately, I was in labour. Things slowly, very slowly, progressed. The doctor at the hospital did not see any reason to stop the labour, as the baby was a good size.

Forty-one hours later my beautiful baby boy, Antony, was born at six pounds six ounces (2.89kg); a good size for a prem baby. I got to hold him for about 30 seconds before he was taken away for testing. I kept saying I wanted to put him straight on the breast but this just fell on deaf ears. He was taken to SCBU (Special Care Baby Unit) and put in an incubator just as a precaution. I was told he was very healthy.

The next day was when things became emotionally exhausting for me. I was expressing every three hours to try to bring on my milk. Being so early my body was not yet ready for this. Antony came out of his incubator and went into a cot.
He had a tube up his nose going down to his tummy to feed him, to my horror, formula. I was getting a little bit of colostrum but not enough to feed him completely so he was topped up with formula.

I spent all day and night with him until I had to sleep. That was the hardest time.
Everyone around me in the room had a baby and I felt, after a not so normal birth experience, that I had nothing to show for it. A lot of tears were shed over this week. I’ll never forget crying in bed one night when a nurse came along and asked me if I was OK. I said, “No.” and she asked me if I would like a Panadol. You can imagine what went through my mind. There really should be a separate ward for mums with prem babies.

On day four my milk came through, to my delight. Breastfeeding had always been the only option in my mind. It’s funny, I always thought, you put the baby to your breast, they latch on and hey presto, baby feeding. Boy was I wrong. The nurses at Middlemore Neonatal Unit were a great help. It’s just that they each had their own style. One would say, “Do it this way.” You would try that, then on the next shift the nurse would say, “Not like that, try this way,” and I really didn’t need anymore confusion at this time. Luckily I am a strong person and I put my foot down and said, “This way feels right and this is the way I am going to pursue”. One night I was upset because I had a nurse who didn’t have many patients and insisted on tube feeding my baby. I felt he was not going to learn if he was given the easy way out all the time.

Finally my original midwife (Lesley) came back from holiday and things took a turn for the better. I could not praise her enough. She suggested that to help Antony with latching on I first express to soften the breast, because I was expressing so often I was over producing milk and my breasts were quite firm. She also suggested using a nipple shield to help with latching on. To my relief this worked; not fully, but enough to take the tube out of his nose and allow him to be topped up using a cup. I could see the looks on some of the nurses’ faces but I didn’t care. Day six ended my stay at Middlemore, which had really felt like a prison sentence, and I was transferred to Botany Downs Maternity Unit. Then things got so much easier and better. I think I relaxed more knowing there was no longer the option of a tube being put down Antony’s throat. The charge nurse was excellent and worked well with Lesley, together making things happen.

By about day nine Antony was fully breastfeeding without the nipple shield. I was so proud. Each feed took about one and a half hours and I had to feed every three hours so it was exhausting but definitely worth it.

There were mothers in there that I spoke to who gave up trying after two days with a full term baby, saying it was too hard or that it hurt. Each to their own but I do feel that people give up too easily.

In my mind from the time I fell pregnant the only option was to breastfeed. As a child I was not breastfed due to my mother having a bad experience with my older sister. Today I suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and wonder if this is due to formula. So you can see why I was going to take every precaution possible to avoid this happening to Antony.

I successfully fed him until he was 15 months old and I am now pregnant with number two, due in October. I’m hoping to go full term but this time I will be much stronger and wiser with my opinion.

So to anyone out there with a prem baby I would like to say don’t give up. It’s never too late to start breastfeeding even if it takes a week or two for your baby and you to learn to latch on. If I can be of any help please don’t hesitate to contact me through LLLNZ.

Lastly I would like to thank La Leche League for all their support. To be honest my antenatal classes put me off ever contacting LLL and made LLL women out to be a bunch of alternative hippies that breastfed until their babies were ten. This ignorance needs to change. A friend from my coffee group convinced me to go one day, which took a lot, as I was not confident about feeding in public.

The women in the LLL Group all made me feel so welcome and comfortable, with great helping hints for breastfeeding. Learning to feed in bed was the best thing.
So thank you La Leche League, for all your support.

I hope my story helps anyone out there coping with a premmie and I wish you all luck.

Tania Cross, Howick, Auckland
ArohaMay/June 2004

Continue ReadingCoping with a Prem Baby

The Working Mother

  • Post category:Working
  • Reading time:4 mins read

When I found I was pregnant with Sander I knew I had some decisions to
make. What sort of work could I do that would allow me adequate time with
my child and yet provide me with an income relative to my needs? I quickly
decided to attend a teacher training course to teach at secondary school.  Deciding on which course to attend was dependant on the institute that would
support me with my newborn. Auckland University allowed me to take my
newborn (five week old) to all classes and lectures. It was, overall, a very
good experience.
I wasn’t comfortable breastfeeding in the class with my peers so I simply left
and sat in an empty room. I was worried that perhaps the stress of the
environment coupled with the impact of being a new mother might affect my
breastfeeding but my worries were never realised. However I did feed Sander
from one breast for the 20 months that I nursed him. He had completely
rejected the left breast from about his second week of life. Fortunately, as I
found out, one is as good as two and surprisingly no one ever noticed a
lopsided look. But who would be looking anyway!
When Sander was six weeks old I was on section (teaching placement). I had
arranged to go to the local school three minutes up the road and I informed
them of my needs regarding breastfeeding. I was able to slip home to feed
Sander and go home during any free periods. During this time my husband
was able to juggle his timetable to look after the baby while I was at school. I
expressed milk for this short period of five weeks. I had had a Caesarean and
I was still feeling fragile so the demands of expressing were an added
difficulty. However the time passed quickly and Sander seemed as keen to fit
in with me as I was to fit in around him. A darling boy. When I returned to
university Sander was able to stay with me through classes.
During this entire experience (which many of my peers thought was an insane
undertaking) breastfeeding Sander and having him share the bed at night with
my husband and I were the elements which provided relaxation and a fluid
sense of well being. These were moments of quiet and respite. I
completed the course and started as a teacher of 13 to 18 year olds the
following year when Sander was eight months old. Once again I feared that
this disruption to our lives would affect our breastfeeding routine. Our routine
did change but it was an adjustment that worked perfectly. I would feed
Sander first thing in the morning and as soon as I got home. Then we followed
the usual routine for evening and through the night. He fed every one and a
half to two hours at night until he was past the age of one year. Again my
friends expressed dismay at my way of doing things but it worked well for us.
It was in keeping with my ideals of parenting, our nursing relationship was
strong and my sense of our bond growing and strengthening was affirmed.
I found my breastfeeding relationship with my son to be the most important
factor in ensuring a smooth transition to work and sense of strong family in the
home in those early days. I was glad that I didn’t need to express for an
extended period and that my son as readily accepted a bottle while I was at
work and my breast when I was at home. I believe this was due to the six
months of full breastfeeding while I was able to take him with me.
In a few weeks I’m expecting my second child and I am anticipating an equally
rewarding breastfeeding relationship. I have six months leave before returning
to work. Once more I have made that all important contact with La Leche
League because support by women who are non judgemental and wish only
to see a mother build the best possible bond with her child is invaluable. My
experience with my La Leche League Leader Alison Stanton was fundamental
in providing me with the information and knowledge that everything is possible
to overcome the hiccups a new mother encounters.

Catherine Hutton, Howick­Pakuranga
Originally published in Aroha July/August 2003, Volume 5 Issue 4

Continue ReadingThe Working Mother

The Breastfeeding Librarian

  • Post category:Working
  • Reading time:7 mins read

In April 2008, while reading my local newspaper, I saw the ad that would signal a change in direction for my life, and take me on a journey through New Zealand’s legislation around birth and child rearing.

It was an advert for a position at an Auckland City Council Community Library in Onehunga. It was on the days my husband, Andrew, had off work, which eliminated the childcare question. I was looking for a change, and this job seemed to fit the bill. I could utilise my past retail experience, but explore a different environment in which to enjoy helping people. It was perfect.

I was hired for the position of Library Assistant, working Fridays and Saturdays, and loved it from day one. My oldest boy Matthew was at school, my second boy Aidan was in kindergarten, and my youngest, Fiona, aged about 19 months, stayed at home with my husband Andrew. I knew my young daughter was happy and secure, and on Saturdays all the children got to spend time with their Dad. I enjoyed having time to myself, and relished the return to a customer service role without feeling I had to sell anything. I enjoyed myself so much I almost felt like a fraud collecting my pay check!

Not long after starting my new job, I found out I was pregnant with baby number four. I kept it under wraps for the first three months, and then decided it was time to fess up. Everyone, including my boss, was delighted. I intended to return to my job I loved so much, and would utilise recently legislated parental leave and breastfeeding breaks.

My pregnancy progressed well, and I enjoyed my colleague’s interest in how things were going. I continued to enjoy my job, although in the latter stages of pregnancy, things like shelving books on lower shelves proved to be difficult!

I put in all my paperwork in a timely manner, and at the end of January, with one week until my due date, I commenced my 14 weeks paid parental leave. As I had been at my job for more than six months, but less than twelve, I was legally entitled to 14 weeks paid leave, but that was all. I was fortunate that the Auckland City Council provides above the legal requirement, and could apply for to up to eight months extended leave. I chose to take the 14 weeks paid leave, with a few extra weeks, which would mean my baby would be four months old when I returned to work.

On Monday 9 February, my waters broke but no contractions were forthcoming, and I knew how this would pan out – the same had happened with the boys, and so I knew we were heading for a synto/epidural combo. I was right, and I headed into Auckland City Hospital that evening. Our gorgeous boy Joel was born early the next morning.

Joel’s early days were somewhat fraught. He had difficulty breastfeeding, and was failing to gain weight. Joel would latch, but not work hard enough to get any milk beyond the initial let down – which was keeping him hydrated, but not full and content. We pulled out all the stops – pumping, (and luckily then-two-year-old Fiona was still breastfeeding, and able to help keep the supply up) a supplemental nursing system (SNS), cranial osteopathy, a visit from a lactation consultant and constant and much valued support from an LLL Leader.
We emerged from all the problems at about six weeks, at which point Joel returned to feeding exclusively at the breast. I felt a bit sad that Joel’s newborn days were just a blur, and I hadn’t had the chance to really enjoy him, and soon it would be time to start thinking about returning to work.

Initially I had thought it would be easy to just go back to work and leave Joel with Andrew. After all, I had done it seven years ago with Matthew. But at six weeks Joel was following me with his eyes, didn’t like me out of his sight. Our breastfeeding hurdles had drawn us close together, and neither of us was ready to be parted for six hours at a time.

Enter Rachael, Community Librarian.
Whilst I was on parental leave, my manager left, and Rachael replaced her. I hadn’t met Rachael yet, but knew I had to talk to her about how we were going to deal with my return to work. I took a deep breath and sent her an email about how I was struggling to cope with the idea of me and Joel being separated for so long, and offered some suggestions as to how we could ease my transition back into work with minimum impact on everyone else in the workplace.

Another legislative change that had recently occurred was that relating to flexible work for people with dependents, and so Rachael suggested to me that we utilise the Auckland City Council’s flexible work policy. What was agreed was that for the first three months of my return, I would only work three hours each day, and the employee who had been on the temporary contract covering my parental leave would take up the remaining hours. I was thrilled!

This worked really well, and Joel coped with it fine. I would pump some milk in the morning, and because human milk is a living substance, I didn’t need to even refrigerate it for that short time, meaning if Andrew needed to give it to him, it would warm faster.

Three months came and went, and it was time to move back to my regular hours. And time to utilise another piece of legislation, this time relating to breastfeeding breaks. Rachael and Leeda, Duty Manager on Saturdays, agreed to me having fifteen minute paid time added to my lunch breaks in which I could pump milk. This is over and above the legislative requirements, and was a great relief. It meant I didn’t have to rush my lunch breaks, especially if I had errands to run, and so was relaxed and able to pump plenty of milk to take home. I had a clean and comfy room (a spare office) to use, and I made a little sign to let people know what I was up to in there. My co-workers were understanding and good humoured about my pumping regime.

After I returned from the Christmas break, as Joel approached his first birthday, I signalled that I no longer needed the pumping break. I also had by this time secured another job in a school library that suited my family life better than the community library did, so with some reluctance, I handed in my notice.

I will always be grateful for the understanding and support I received over this time. Firstly, for the Auckland City Council for having these family friendly policies in place and secondly, for Rachael and Leeda for providing me with support in practice by way of flexible work arrangements and pumping breaks. I didn’t only feel supported in being able to breastfeed and work, but felt that there was an understanding of Joel’s and my need to be together more than I had initially planned – and this was never treated as if it were an inconvenience or a problem, but rather that it was perfectly normal and reasonable.

I wanted to give the team at the library something relevant upon my departure, and so decided to get some of the international breastfeeding symbol signs to put up in the library.

I know for a fact that the Onehunga Community Library has always been breastfeeding friendly for patrons, but now I also know that it is breastfeeding friendly for employees, too.

By Donna Henderson, Auckland Central
Aroha | March – April 2010 | Volume 12 | Issue 2
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